Mike 214 Report post Posted January 29, 2009 Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves... Some say he's wanted by the CIA, and that he sleeps upside down like a bat... Some say that he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue... Some say he is illegal in 17 U.S. states, and he blinks this way [motioning his fingers in a horizontal fashion]... Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that he's scared of bells... Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that all of his legs are hydraulic... Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals... Some say that his heart ticks like a watch, and that he's confused by stairs... Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees... Some say that he's terrified of ducks, and that there's an airport in Russia named after him... Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin's, and that where ever you are in the world, if you tune your radio to 88.4, you can actually hear his thoughts... Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish delight... Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground... Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire, he'd burn for a thousand days... Some say he can swim seven lengths under water, and he has webbed buttocks... Some say that his heart is in upside down, and that his teeth glow in the dark... Some say that his ears aren't exactly where you'd expect them to be, and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott... Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar... Some say that his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds... Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show... Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring, and that if you give him a really important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet... Some say he invented Branston Pickle, and that if you insult his mother, he will head-butt you in the chest... Some say that on really warm days, he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason, he's allergic to the Dutch... Some say that his first name really is "The," and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant including the camera men... Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and long before anyone else, he realized that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs... Some say that he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal... Some say that if you lick his chest, it tastes exactly the same as piccalilli, and that at this week's Brit awards, he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand... Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and that his crash helmet is modelled on Britney Spears' head... Some say he isn't machine washable, and all his potted plants are called Steve... Some say that he's banned from the town of Chichester and that in a recent late-night deal, he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh... Some say that he gets terrible eczema on his helmet, and that if he'd been the video referee at the World Cup Rugby Final, he'd have seen 'of course it was a try you blind Australian half-wit'!... Some say that to turn him on, you have to run your finger down his face, like this (runs his finger down the face of an audience member standing nearby), and that if he was getting divorced from Paul McCartney, he'd keep his stupid whiney mouth shut!... Some say that he thought Star Wars was a documentary, and that he recently pulled out of I'm A Celebrity because he is scared of trees... and Australia... and Koo Stark... and Ant... and Dec... Some say that he knows 2 facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong. And that 61 years ago he accidentally introduced Her Majesty The Queen to a Greek racialist. All we know is, I'm going to the tower now to have my head cut off... Some say that when he slows down brake lights come on in his buttocks, and that if he'd been the manager of the England football squad last week, he wouldn't have been a feckless ginger gum-chewing buffoon who ruined it for all of us... Some say that he once lost a canoe on a beach in the north-east, and that he once did some time in a prison in Canterbury, because his teddy is called The Baby Jesus... Some say that after making love, he bites the head off his partner. And that he had to give up binge drinking now that it's gone to one pound eighteen to a litre... Some say that each of his toenails are exactly the same as a woman's nipples, and that he thinks that "credit-crunch" is some kind of a breakfast cereal... Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York. And that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face... All we know is, he's called The Stig Some say that his scrotum has its own small gravity field, and that because our producer rigged a phone vote, he now has a new name. All we know is, he's called Cuddles. Some say that he's a CIA experiment gone wrong, and that he only eats cheese... all we know is, he's not the Stig, but he is the Stig's American cousin! Some say he's seen The Lion King 1780 times, and that his second best friend is a cape buffalo... all we know is, he's not the Stig, but he is the Stig's African cousin Some say that as we speak he is actually relaxing in the resort pool, and he is, he is actually. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mark 0 Report post Posted January 29, 2009 All we know is, he's called The Stig. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
♠Grim♂ Reaper 1666◙ 17 Report post Posted January 29, 2009 what about trucker stig? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mike 214 Report post Posted January 29, 2009 what about trucker stig? Some say that's The Stig's truck driving cousin... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joe Statler 0 Report post Posted January 29, 2009 Some say that I crap my pants, but actually I only wee wee in them. XD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Edfake 0 Report post Posted January 30, 2009 party pooper Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
