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Back to the Future: The Marty McFly Chronicles

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This is a little story i am writing, it is set after part 3, this is chapter 1, i hope you like it, it's not that good, but i tried my best.

Note: this story is also for people who havent seen the movie a billion times, so dont be anoyed when i start explaining poples names and stuff. thank you

Back to the Future: The Marty McFly Chronicles

By Charlton Hawkins

Chapter 1: A Christmas to Forget

Its dark, it’s late, ten o’clock at night to be exact, both Marty and Emmet, AKA “Doc”, are in Doc’s garage working on the car, the Delorean DMC-12 to be exact, Doc had bought a new one to transform into a Time Machine. Doc is under the car fixing a few things. Marty has been standing next to the car helping doc for over an hour, and he is starting to get a little anxious.

“Emmett.........Ah.....I mean Doc.....come on, it’s too late to be doing this” Doc stops and reply’s with a sigh.

“Look, I have to get this done Marty, or else I’ll never be able to see them again.”

Marty reply’s impatiently,

“You don’t even know whether there alive or not, Doc.”

Doc is startled by this and rolls out from under the car, “They are alive! I just know it,” he rolls back under the car.

Marty looks at the different bits and pieces of circuits lying on the table, some of them scratched, some of them destroyed, it’s a total mess. The time circuits are in ruins, the flux capacitor is almost beyond repair, then the clock on the wall catches his eye, he realises it’s just few seconds before 10:04 pm, the time when a lightning bolt had struck Hill Valley’s clock tower back in 1955, Marty had used that lightning bolt to get back to the future in the old time machine, that’s before it got destroyed by a train, quite literally.

“Hey Doc, look what time it is”

Doc looks at the clock just as it hits 10:04 pm; a little smirk appears on his face “You know, if it weren’t for my gloves I was wearing that night, I probably would have been electrocuted, but it was an exciting night, wasn’t it?”

Marty smiled, but then he was reminded about Doc working too much on the car,

“Yeah it was exciting Doc, but you need sleep, you have spent the last week retrieving and trying to repair what you could of the time circuits’ and the flux capacitor from the railway lines, and you haven’t slept since then, I know how much you want to find them, but you’re not thinking forth dimensionally.”

Doc rolls out from under the car, he thinks for a couple of seconds, then he gets up.

“You’re right Marty, I am a scientist, and I have to be scientific about this, I need sleep, after all, if anything happens to them, I can always go back in time and fix it.”

Doc and Marty walk to the entrance to the garage; Marty looks back at the car and sighs,

“Are you sure you want to do this Doc?”

“Yes Marty, it’s my only chance to save Clara and the boys from biff. I turned my back for one second Marty, ONE SECOND!”

Doc hits his head on the side of the doorway, then breathes heavily “And Biff, steals the time train, and kidnaps Clara, Joules and Verne”

“Don’t worry Doc, you, me and Einstein will find “when” they went to.”

Marty and Doc leave the garage, having mixed emotions since they will get to use the Delorean Time Machine, one last time.

In the living room, Einstein is sleeping soundly in his basket, who would have thought sheepdogs sleep nearly all the time. As Marty walks to the door, he hesitates and turns around.

“Wait a minute Doc, you never told me the whole story of what happened that day, did you?”

Doc sighs heavily, and plonks down on his couch, Doc hadn’t been himself lately, it was almost like he was depressed, but today he had been a little excited since he was close to finishing the Time Machine.

“Alright Marty, I’ll tell you exactly what happened...”

Doc starts to reminisce back to 3 months ago, on December 25th 1985, it was Christmas day. Doc, Clara, Jules and Verne had time travelled back to Marty’s house to spend Christmas with the McFly family, Marty’s parent’s; George and Lorraine, were looking out the front window, when suddenly they saw a flying 1800’s Steam Train Time Machine land on the nature strip, Marty knew that now his parents were convinced the Time Machine was real, this was the first time that Doc had met Marty’s parents, but I think from the sight of the train, he had already made a good first impression. Jules and Verne had gone with Clara to get the presents out of the time train, Marty and Doc were sitting and talking with Marty’s parents, telling them about the adventures they had had in the1950’s, the 21st century, and the wild west. They also told them about the Biff-horrific paradox that Biff had created.

Clara was enjoying herself, she was curious how the people of the future live, Doc didn’t tell Marty’s parents that Clara was born in 1868, he didn’t consider it important. After the boys had opened there presents, they went outside with Einstein and played fetch.

“Hey guys, Jennifer and I are going to take the truck for a drive up to the lake, unless Doc wants to take me to the future right at the last minute!”

“Yeah, sorry about that Marty, I had no choice but to take you to the future that day.”

After Marty and Jennifer had left, Doc stayed behind to help Marty’s brother and sister; Dave and Linda, and his parents, clean up. Clara and the boys were waiting in the train, the boys had dozed off, dreaming of the wonderful Christmas day they had just had.

Then, Doc heard Einstein’s bark, it was coming from outside, he saw Clara had been tied up with a scarf around her mouth. Doc dropped everything and ran outside, the rest of the McFly family followed quickly after, just as he ran outside, the train’s doors started to close, he looked in the drivers’ seat, It was Biff.

Clara and the boys were trying to scream, but they couldn’t with their mouths covered, Biff yelled out over the sound of the train just as the doors closed,

“You ruined my life Doc! Now I’m going to ruin yours!”

A hiss of steam blasted from out of the bottom of the train, the wheels started to fold up. It was going to take off.

“NO!!!” Emmet screamed as he ran for the ascending train, the train was now too far off the ground, Emmet tried to grab hold of the train, but slipped off and landed on the grass below, the train accelerated up to 88 miles per hour, sparks flew from the train, a wormhole appeared, and then in a brilliant flash of light, the train disappeared into time, leaving only a pair of burning plasma trails, which also then disappeared.

“Holy s**t Doc, I never would have thought that biff could have done that,”

Doc looks at Marty with a guilty sort of look “You know Marty, I got to see his face just before the doors closed, and I don’t think it was... “our” Biff”

Marty was puzzled by this statement “What do you mean Doc? You mean Biff has changed somehow?”

“No Marty, I mean, it wasn’t 1985 Biff, it was 1955 Biff.”

Marty was stunned by this. “But, But how! That’s impossible!”

“No Marty, It’s possible, and I think I know how he got to this time,” Doc stood up and picked up a photo frame from the dresser with a photo of Clara and the boys in it, it was them standing in front of Doc’s mansion.

“Ok Doc, it’s a picture of you standing in front of your new mansion after you rebuilt it right?”

Doc felt really guilty at this point, he replied with a sigh, “I took Clara and the boys back to 1955 to show them my “old” mansion, you know, the one that burnt down 15 years ago, making sure my younger self was away first before I arrived. But maybe, just maybe, 1955 Biff stowed away in the rear of the train, there is a compartment back there I rarely use, he may have hidden there, so unknowingly, I am the one brought him to the present.” Doc was tearing up, he felt so guilty about what happened. Marty didn’t know what to say, he knew it wasn’t Doc’s fault.

“It’s getting late Marty; you had better be getting home, I’ll work on the Time Machine a little more before I hit the hay”

“Alright Doc, see you tomorrow” Marty closed the door behind him, as soon as Doc knew Marty had left, he ran into the garage and started working again, he looked over his blueprints, he double checked each circuit, made sure everything was working properly.

It is now 10 o’clock in the morning, and Doc, now covered in grease and petrol stains, was standing in front of his accomplishment, it was done. The Delorean Time Machine was complete, it was now time to test it, he looked over his shoulder at Einstein who had been sitting behind Doc waiting to be fed. Then Doc smiles with a massive grin “It’s time Einstein, time for me to send you into the future, one last time!”

The End...

...For Now!

Ok, the end of chapter 1, please comment, i dont really know where i should go from here

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It's a nice story, so far. But there are a few things that bother me. Of course, this is only my point of view:

1.- The spelling: Readers stumble on every misspelled word, dragging them away from the narrative -and, importantly, the plot- and taking away the mood you want to establish.

2.- The characters: We know who they are because we know the backgrounds, but new readers won't; I think you have to give a much profound description of each character, not only by looks, but by feelings, making people care for the ones in distress.

Maybe it's me, but the characters sound like they're from the animated series and/or are out of character: they lack seriousness and emotions and they don't talk or act as they should (Marty calling Doc "Emmett" as his first line in the story, Doc leaving the Train on the front street in public view [!], both Marty and Doc talking about Future and Past events with the McFlys...).

3.- The narrative: I can't figure out if the narrator is written in first or third person (he talks about Clara's thoughts, but then talks about the Train Time Machine when the McFlys don't know what it is). I don't think the readers get the impression the story's trying to achieve. I suppose the narrator is Marty and hence the -cliché- name "The Marty McFly Chronicles", so he needs to be more into character.

4.- Plot resemblance to "The Ride": I think the story needs a better explanation on how 1955 Biff got to 1985 (you even wrote the same expression used in the Ride: "stowed away") and how he learned to drive the Train while he was hidden (maybe that last part will be explained in the next chapters)

Anyway, those are my points, don't take them as an "It sucks" reply, because it doesn't. I hope everything makes sense.

Keep on writing!

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Doc would never ever show any kind of time machine to anyone else. Not after the events in part 2 & 3. Another thing is that, as Carlos mentioned, the characters are a lot different than in the films, or even animated series.

Well, keep on, don't make any errors in the plot, quite easily made in time travel related writings

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Doc isn't rich enough to rebuild an entire mansion. Plus it didn't burn down, I think Doc sold the mansion to give place for the Burger King.

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Yeah, because I would be so accepting if some sixty something old man landed an antique flying train on my front lawn, then asked to speak to my son. I doubt the McFly's would be to happy with Marty going off on all of these adventures with some creepy old man.

Edited by hscitpe

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thanks for the comments guys, obviously im gonna have to stear this story in another direction, but still, its only a story, im not writing this to send to robert zemeckis if you know what i mean, im just doing this for a bit of joy in my part, to be able to control the characters actions, but yeah, i guess the train landing on the nature strip was a kind of wierd idea, it is sort of stearing towards the ride a bit, but i was thinkng they have to retrace there footsteps (going to 2015 to get hover conversion) but having to avoid there other selves at the same time, i can tell this is gonna be complicated

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Nuke's right, iMaster.

http://www.outatime.it/ritornoalfuturo/fra...mp;s=14&q=0

The mansion burned down, then Doc sold the remains and his estate to developers.

And yes, Doc isn't rich enough to rebuild a mansion. I don't think he would even want to if he was; he would mantain a low profile after the libyans and the time machines.

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Ah. Imagine crazy british guys knocking on his door - "DOCTOR! WE KNOW YOU HAVE A TARDIS!"

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Total rip off, I once had a idea in an old post called The Doc Brown Cronicles, never did it in the end, but still a rip off of the name.

Edited by BTTFTIME

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Nobody cares about you, you know that..?

Yes, but it's still a rip off, and ripping off from me shows that someone is despreate.

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So apparently everything that has "Back to the Future: The _____ Chronicles" is a rip-off of you?

I think you ripped off The Hill Valley Chronicles on youtube. ooooooo.

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Oh, please!. Anything with "The <insert_noun_here> Chronicles" is ripping off the title. After all, it is already a cliché.

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yup

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